“You’ve changed.”
Has anyone ever said that to you, almost as a dig? But you know the changes you made were the right ones because you felt better or your life was getting better in some way?

It’s strange isn’t it? How every person knows a different *you* from the next. I read a quote the other day that said; people don’t dislike you, they dislike their stories about you. I tend to think that’s true. I’ve had people say the strangest stuff to me, with regard to who they think I am and I am so miserably misrepresented in their warped little minds. It’s really strange because, they’re walking around cursing me out and telling other people terrible things about me and it couldn’t be further from the truth!

Thankfully, I have removed all these sorts from my life now. They were the “Yeah but they’re your family… you can’t just cut off your family.”
Watch me.

I think some people really do reach a point in their lives where they don’t care how it looks to other people and doesn’t care any longer about the stories they tell. I think pain is usually the thing that gets you here. Having trusted the wrong people for too long because “they’re family,” or staying in places for too long, that will earn you a front and center stage at the no fucks given circus.

Have you ever seen a woman who is at her wits end and has that *I will stop at nothing* look on her face, as she’s gathering the last of her things, about to leave? It’s a painful place to be but the breath that shutters out of her mouth when it’s over, and the tears because she knows she’s done it. And hopefully for the last time too, lest she have to go through all of this again.

I implore you to leave anything that you can that doesn’t fit anymore. We are breaking out of this era of storefront living, where everything is curated, and the lawn is trimmed, and even the damn sidewalks are edged. NO. We’re exhausted! We’ve been exhausted but we’ve been told and taught that this is living and this is how life is supposed to be. Change dammit! Don’t stay the same. Sameness isn’t safe-ness. Sameness doesn’t prevent the unexpected, it prevents life. It prevents the nuances and the messiness of life. It’s what we came here for. If you want curated people, then watch leave it to beaver or something. I’m hearing the theme song from “Weeds” going through my head right now. Gawd what a show! A fine example of what I’m talking about here. I guess I have a bit of Nancy Botwin about me…

“You’ve changed,” as an insult translates to; you no longer fit the version of you that lives in my head and I don’t like it because I can’t blame you anymore (but I still will)

Can you imagine where we’d be if we weren’t changing and evolving?
I just went back to being a vegetarian after almost a decade. My body has different needs now than 10 years ago. My lifestyle wasn’t working as a strict plant based vegan anymore, so I changed. I used to be really impatient, I changed. I used to make assumptions about people and their lives, I changed. I used to watch TV to unwind at the end of the day, I went back to reading. I used to give endless chances, I remembered my worth and value. I used to smoke and drink, I quit…

The next time someone tries to insult you with “you’ve changed,” shrug it off. No sense in arguing or making a thing of it, they won’t hear you anyway. Or if you really feel like it, ask them if they’re still a XYZ, then laugh and walk away. Oh I was tempted lemme tell ye.

Humans have very limited vision, truly and metaphorically. We don’t know what we’re talking about, some are just ignorant enough to tell you they do. And that should be the deciding factor for their place in your life— if you like peace.

Blessings xx