Why must we go on? If I were a doom scroller, which I am not, I would be living in a state of fear and panic right now. Does it look good out there? That depends on who you ask. I see the world differently than most of the people I know. Do I like what I see in the world? Am I comfortable with it? Heck no. Can I change it? Absofreakingloutley! And I am, right now.

How am I changing the world right now? I am not the end all be all on this subject but I am confident in my contribution to it because it comes from a powerful place within me. I know a thing or ten about deconstruction and rebuilding. I’ve done it many times but this last bout tried real hard to take me out and I had to bring myself back from an inch away from death, literally…

So when I tell you I know the dark, trust me when I say. Otherwise if you stick around here long enough I’ll earn your trust.

Deconstruction is a complete unraveling of what is falling apart. The caterpillar dissolves within is chrysalis and turns into pre-butterfly soup. Caterpillar’s aren’t self aware like humans are, at least not to our knowledge. They just know that they are meant to eat and eat and eat and spin a protective shell around themselves and what happens next, they never see coming but they’re in there trusting the process, dissolving everything that they once were, to emerge as the butterfly. Going from the ground to taking flight. Can you even imagine that??? That’s not far off from ocean to the air.

For human’s deconstructing can get quite messy like caterpillar soup. I remember laying on my floor curled up in a fetal position, sobbing my eyes out, the pain of everything that had happened ripping through my chest, I couldn’t even catch my breath. My old life was so far gone and dead behind me, I had nowhere to return to, no one to turn to and I had no idea where I was going either. I was afraid of who I might become; what if I didn’t like her? What if she was nothing like the old me I once knew, who was regarded as safe because it was at least comfortable and known.

I tread forward into unknown territory. My hope was the glimmer that it had to be better on the other side. My overly complicated life was slowed enough that I was able to hear that inner voice again and follow it, as it was my only light in the darkness. I uncovered so much pain and old wounds that I didn’t even know existed in this darkened place within. I was able to finally see ‘why’ I did the things I did and ‘why’ I reacted the way I did. I was able to make the connections that I needed to within myself, in order to move on. No, my outer circumstances did NOT change. The people around me did NOT change. I did.

As I healed, looked after myself better, set better boundaries and restored my hope and confidence in myself, I became lighter. My nature became softer, quieter and more patient. I came to realize I didn’t *need* anyone or anything to be a certain way in order for me to feel safe or comfortable. I’m able to see people as they are and honor that and place them in my life where they belong— not where society or any other bullying system tells me.

My point is, I am a microcosm to the macrocosm. So are you. The world systems are deconstructing, and the earth too is responding… the earth is alive, it isn’t just a rock with shit growing on it— which seems to be the consensus. The earth is alive and breathing, growing and thriving in many places. If you went deep into the forest and sat to observe, you would see all is well. If you return to the systematized world, you would see that it is falling apart.

The microcosm can affect the macrocosm by healing itself. Be the light. Meltdown. Fall apart. Enter into your chrysalis so you can emerge radiant and beautiful. Because staying on the ground you’re risking getting stepped on, just like the caterpillar had. Don’t be afraid of what is on the other side, or if you are, do it anyway. Get quiet. Go within. We can change this world but we have to do it, individually as a whole.

What lives in you, lives in me. The Observer is seated at the throne of your heart just as it is in mine. We ARE all one. The Universe shattered a mirror and distributed the pieces. That’s what we are. I’m going to use my mirror piece to reflect love back to all of you. Will you join me?

So, do I like the world the way it is? No, I don’t but I’m going to change it… I hope you’ll join me.

Blessings xx