As Parent’s we have this incredible privilege to raise little people better than we were raised. Based on what I experienced and have seen, I don’t think ‘adults’ see it that way…

“ Beware that you don’t look down upon a single one of these little children. For I tell you that in heaven their angels have constant access to my Father.” Matthew 18:10

While I do not follow any religion but rather learn from all of them, I do remember this passage. It strikes me as guidance and also a warning.

““Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” – Luke 18:17”

“”Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21“

I don’t see things ending well for anyone who treats their children in an unkind manner. If there is anything I have learned about the Bible, there are solid life truths in there, if you read it for yourself and read it with an open mind, without anyone else’s interjections. If you take the New Testament at face value, there are some serious life nuggets in there. The treatment of children should be a no brainer but, in this age, when we have to place usage warnings on everything, common sense isn’t as common anymore.

“Receive the Kingdom of God like a little child…” Wouldn’t you suppose that statement places a high value on the mind and nature of a child? And yet we ruin them because we’re unwilling to face our demons and would much rather blame and project onto others.

Look… this is a stern warning, and it is guidance on how to conduct ourselves with children, all children— especially your own because when they grow up and head out into the world, your voice will be their subconscious. The way you supported or did not support them will be the foundation to their courage or their poor self-image.

What in the fuck are parents thinking when they talk down to their children? Do we not know that they don’t know any better, in many cases??? They’re brand new, just like we once were! Do you know how many time I got told when I was 4 or 5 that I should have known better? Like heck I would have! 5 years old? I screwed stuff up when I was 40! But maybe we weren’t treated well, right? Does that make it okay to treat our children the same way we were? Doesn’t that make you want to do better because it made you feel awful?

I think back on my own childhood and wonder like what in the hell were they thinking? Why wasn’t I nurtured? Why wasn’t I held? I was given the basics (often made to feel guilty and burdensome for it) Why didn’t they try to do better than what they got? Berating your child? Hitting them? The silent treatment? C’mon man. Grow the fuck up, this is a kid here. A child. A child that you are ruining. YOU are ruining them. Why didn’t they see that?

It’s so long gone now, after so much soul searching, realizations, lot’s of wrong choices and mistakes— so many damn tears and holding myself, I’ve healed, I am healing, I will continue to heal.

I’m really passionate about this subject because man, my life would have been so much better if I had the support, compassion and love that I needed. I know a lot of us feel the same way. And I’ve never in my life written as extensively about this as I am today but I think it’s bloody time I did. Maybe that is in part why I endured it, so that I could speak out about it now. I am a woman of great faith who knows that nothing is without reason and no thing is wasted. So here I am.

Do you want to do that to your kid just because it was done to you? Choose different. Pause before you open that mouth of yours to react to something they said or did. You by the way you treat them, are building the future.

It is a sick, cruel and disgusting thing that happens to children every single day in seemingly normal households, and the justice system has failed us there too. Deeming things as “isolated incidents,” or as not being severe, though its reoccurring. Everything begins in the mind, we are seeing the result of decades of psychological abuse in the people walking around in the world. I have NO doubt that’s why humanity is in the state of emotional and mental peril that we are in!

Poor treatment was excused by being told; “so what, I had it worse than you…” “It hurts me more than it hurts you.”

Parents should get their parent card pulled from them. What in the fuck is wrong with this world when we’re treating our innocent, brand new, clean slate children like this?

Did you know that the silent treatment is one of the darkest forms of psychological abuse? You’re treating an innocent child like they don’t exist. They look to you for safety, love and regulation and you treat them like they’re dead. How disturbed is that?

“Within families, the silent treatment can be a harmful form of abuse used by parents as a way to exert control or enforce compliance. For instance, a parent might ignore a child after a disagreement, using silence as a means of punishment. This creates fear and uncertainty in the child, who learns to associate their behavior with emotional withdrawal from their parent. In short, they internalize this abuse into self-blame. Children who experience this form of emotional neglect in their families may struggle with feelings of unworthiness, leading to mental health symptoms such as anxiety and depression. The absence of healthy communication and support can stunt emotional development, making it difficult for survivors to form healthy relationships later in life.” Psychology today dot com.

Your words and actions are shaping your child’s brain. It’s shaping their perception. It’s shaping their ability to function as a person. Knowing these things puts the warnings and guidance in perspective. The blood is on the hands of those who don’t take parenting or the fair and loving treatment of children seriously. You reap what you sow, it will come back to you in one form or another. It always does.

Children don’t come with instruction or “usage” labels like the things we purchase but personal experience should be enough. If it didn’t feel good when you were a kid, it won’t feel good for them either. Pause. Think about it. Consider your actions and words— not just now but for the long term. Children are innocent and helpless, looking to us to lift them up and show them the way. It is our privilege to be their guides here, not treating them like pawns or a dumping ground for your unhealed trauma. If you can’t handle your children have the wherewithal to make a phone call and get them somewhere where they will be loved and cherished for the beautiful little beings that they are.

Blessings xx