How did men go from Maximus in Gladiator to Kip from Napoleon Dynamite? We’ve covered a lot of time space since then and things have become a lot less emergent, physically. At the touch of a button or a swipe of the finger, what we want suddenly appears before our very eyes. We have the benefit of our lives not being in grave danger every moment of the day by some world overlord…. or wait, that isn’t true. Moving on. Our nervous systems are smoked from the amount of social pressure and influence that it keeps us in a constant state of fight or flight without a single tangible predator around. Raising cortisol levels, weight gain, brain fog, irritability. This doesn’t even factor in the familial neutering that happens where unrealistic expectations are placed upon the man to be a savior of the household.

This is all due to culture; influence, career pressure and being targeted. (Women are targeted too, different post later) Most of us are seeking to be filled up rather than seeking to serve and when we enter into relationships in this state we will always be disappointed. We enter into jobs with this mentality as well, seeking to feel accomplished in our work because we aren’t appreciated enough outside of work. The demands that a man has on him, already under a distressed state is astronomical.
How do you know if you’re distressed or compromised? Addictions and habits are your first clue. Sex. Porn. Alcohol. Weed. harder shit— whatever it is, it is your first class ticket out of your world. If you weren’t distressed you wouldn’t need to leave.

Secondly, men need freedom. So do women but again, that’s a later post. Men need to get back to doing men shit, not dressing up in matching plaid jammies because his woman wanted him to. Sure, the pictures are cute, but it looks like a man who is returning from the vet with cone around his collar and some very curious stitches in his special place… Men need to do men shit. Get dirty. Spend some nights in the woods hunting, getting in touch with their inner beast. Society has castrated men and no one is talking about how profoundly this affects all of us. There used to be something carnal and ancient within men, something virile and fearsome but it changed form to addictions and domestic abuse. Men need an outlet for their carnal nature, it’s still in there. And no, I’m not talking about spreading your seed all over the earth. A man is a one-woman man, it denotes self-control and being worthy of respect.

We’re all so connected to devices and things, but we’re so disconnected from ourselves and what makes us human, particularly, what makes a man a man. If this post challenges you then I’ve done my job because it brought you back into the present enough to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. There is no finger pointing here nor blame, spiraling to where we are as a society and as a whole has been a group effort. But what I am suggesting here is that we all need the space and acceptance to get back to being who we innately are in these bodies, in this lifetime.

Men need their space. Yes they need to do their part in raising their families but they don’t need to be sat on (unless its the sexy kind) in order to get things accomplished. Men need their own space where they can just be a man. It’s a tremendous amount of pressure a man has on him to be the leader of the home, whether that’s how it works in your house or not. Men have an innate program within them to provide and protect and the other program they have is the need of respect.

There’s a catch. Respect is earned, it isn’t just given. A man, a real man, a true leader will act with great care and diplomacy. He will be emotionally intelligent and respond rationally and when he can’t he will have the wherewithal to say- “I need some time to calm down.” This is not the cue for the women to start following him around the house harping, trying to get him to talk. Let him go…
Communication is huge. I know there are campaigns spread far and wide about how women are unwilling to listen to men share their vulnerable side but it isn’t true. We’re not willing to be treated poorly anymore. You can share how you’re feeling without acting it out. Any good woman who has done the inner work will listen and possibly even ask if you just want her to listen or if you want solutions. The best part about those intimate conversations is where she can crawl onto your lap and wrap her legs around your waist and tell you how much she loves you just the way you are. If she’s there for you, believe her. These women aren’t easy to come by.

I think as a society we can make the shifts that are needed to get back to all of us having what we need as individuals, recognizing the places we went wrong— not placing blame but moving forward with the wisdom.

A man shouldn’t feel stuck in his domestic situation. He shouldn’t feel smothered. He shouldn’t feel useless because he’s been overrun by his masculine significant other. If that’s the case a shift happened and if you trace your steps backward, you’ll know how to fix it. These aren’t gender roles, they’re DNA. —Maybe I’ll spare myself the emails and comments about gender roles, this has nothing to do with gender roles, it’s who we are and how we regard each other and how we have completely lost sight of beauty in what makes us so damn different and yet the same.

At the end of the day, I feel a man just wants to be loved, known and respected for who he is. But if he’s lost his identity due to the pressures of life, that would feel like the bottom is falling out, wouldn’t it?

There will be more on this and the case of women as well. This is only a sliver, a small insight into what has happened. I am a human psyche connoisseur, a grand observer, as the observer Itself. This is who I’ve come to understand myself to be.
Thank you for joining me here today, please subscribe, leave comments. I don’t reply to mean ones as meanness is weak character, so I don’t give it any attention. I hope this shed some light on a very complicated subject matter. More to come.

Blessings xx