I can’t say this enough— be yourself, live for yourself, as yourself— not as other people want you to be. Discover who you are, what you like and how you like to live and proceed accordingly.

I see so many people making decisions because those things are what their family members want or their boyfriend or girlfriend. We end up losing our identity by trying to retrofit ourselves into the lives of others, taking up what they desire for us, rather than listening to our own hearts. Then when the relationship ends of they let you down for the last time, you lose your identity.

You can’t enter into a relationship with the idea that you’ll change them or they’ll change for you. It’s not fair. It’s not fair to you and it isn’t fair to them. We can’t expect or hope for other people to be something they aren’t already aware of themselves as being. This never ends well.

I used to believe people when they told me they’d quit doing XYZ but if they didn’t want to do that anymore, there would be no proclamation or promise, it would simply be so. I used to get my hope up or assume that they had the same will and determination that I have. Or even the same moral standards. I learned the hard way not to make these assumptions because when I had in the past the collateral damage was devastating.

The world of relationships in this age is hard enough to navigate, add on top of it expectations and hopes that the other person either isn’t aware of or is completely incapable of accomplishing. Some people simply don’t have what it takes. They don’t have the will or the know-how. Sometimes people are so deep in despair that they can’t see their way out. Or they don’t know how to make things right with you because they have never witnessed what a healthy relationship looks like. That’s how we learned as kids, we watched and mimicked. Even if it doesn’t feel good, it’s still our default setting and we gravitate toward it unless we become aware of it and change it consciously.

I don’t think at this time there is anything more important that authentically being ourselves. Loving with our arms wide open. Leaving the job or relationship when it’s time to leave. Doing the weird shit we feel compelled to do because it feels authentic rather than forced. It’s epically important right now because this world has been covered over by lies and deceit and all the ugly stuff has been painted to look pretty. The only thing that is going to cut through all of that is our authenticity and our love. Fake cannot live in the presence of real. We got here because we believed the lie for so long. No need to feel foolish… these lies were massive and well-orchestrated, spanning centuries and it’s all coming out now.

At the end of the day, be you. Love who you are, lumps, lessons and all. Be your beautiful authentic self because that is exactly what this world needs…

Blessings xx