joy
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There is so much that I don’t understand about life and yet, I am aware that I perceive more than most. It doesn’t make me better by any stretch of the imagination, perhaps simply more present. I think near death changes things, and without a doubt death and loss do as well—profoundly. If you allow… Read more
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In my time away from this place, I’ve found myself pondering deeply the nuances of life and relationships. What evokes loyalty in people? And does it last? When you help people, simply because that is who you are, do they see you as a value in their life? It really depends, doesn’t it? I have… Read more
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It has been far too easy to prick the finger of the collective and watch it eek out it’s temperamental goo, citing offense. I used to do this on purpose, for fun because I was a different person back then and had little regard for other people’s feelings, save my own. Even my own were… Read more
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We left off in a dark place because it was a dark place and there are people out there who would willfully put you back into that dark place and leave you there, if it meant they felt better. The first thing I realized was; I wasn’t unlovable, they were incapable of love. I am… Read more
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There is one piece of subject matter I understand well and am very acquainted with— grief. I think it started when I was a little girl. It was the little things, the silence that should have been praise, the glare that should have been a smile. It evolved into cutting words that never should have… Read more
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Some of us don’t have parents, we have gatekeepers and opposition. But why? Because we were the ones that were born to destroy the illusion, to break the cycle. Because we’re dangerous with regard to the narrative. I’ve noticed within my generation and the few years surrounding my generation, there are a lot of people… Read more
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I know a thing or ten about loss. I’ve suffered a lot of loss. A lot of should have been this way— a lot of this never should have happened. But it was that way and it did happen. It was heart breaking, feeling the pain of the losses rip though my chest, feeling like… Read more
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I’ve had a lot of time to think and to observe the world around me, lately. There is shocking information pouring out at a faster rate than any human can comprehend. It’s unavoidable now. It is vitally important to know what is happening but not become inundated by it. Know enough so you can learn… Read more
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I don’t think anyone planned on hardening their heart, it just sorta happened. Trust died at some point. There was the last lie they told, the last lie you told yourself. There was the last excuse you made for them, for yourself. There were a lot of lasts. The last time you shrank in order… Read more
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I can’t say this enough— be yourself, live for yourself, as yourself— not as other people want you to be. Discover who you are, what you like and how you like to live and proceed accordingly. I see so many people making decisions because those things are what their family members want or their boyfriend… Read more